this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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