Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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