he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
