1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
