help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
