i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
