is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
