I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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