i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
