i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Welp...herpes.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
