god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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