My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
