There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
