Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
