I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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