There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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