You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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