No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
