He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
