shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
