just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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