He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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