One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
