Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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