I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
