Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Randomize
