so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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