Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize