whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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