your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
