David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
