I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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