i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
