cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
