to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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