Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I understand Curling. That high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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