"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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