I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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