yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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