she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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