What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
