Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
