Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
