When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Couch. On fire.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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