covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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