He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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