i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize