You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
