I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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