You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
