The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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