I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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