You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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