I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am spending my child support on dildos
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
