Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
