I'm drive I can fine osifer
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
