Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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