Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
