it was like eating out sand paper
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
