Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize