Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's shark week go big or go home
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
