did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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