Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
