I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We had sex on a dog bed..
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